Tales of a Postgrad Nothing

There are few things in life more self-indulgent and egotistical than writing blog that simply chronicles your day-to-day life. I don't harbor any illusions that my own life is any more interesting than anybody else's. I know this isn't true. Last week I had my internet set up and the cable guy was stuck chatting with me for half an hour while he waited on some sort of set up confirmation. He looked at me and made a comment I've gotten used to over the years:

"You're not from around here."

I am Asian-American which isn't all that common in the midwest. The handful of asians who live in my region are really FOB (Fresh Off Boat) immigrants so my existence seems to create confusion for a lot of people. This was not the case with Cable Guy. He was in fact referring to my Portland T-shirt and noticeable lack of the midwestern twang. I told him about the various places I've lived (and they really are various) and he told me about his hometown in some offshoot of Canada where his neighbor was, I kid you not, some guy named Bear who was apparently featured on the show Ice Road Truckers. He also mentioned a brief stint in the army as a special forces sniper in Columbia targeting drug lords. I don't know if half of what he said is true and I'm not even sure which would make him cooler. The only thing better than a sniper/trucker-neighbor turned Cable Guy is a cable guy who goes around telling really weird lies to his customers when given 30 minutes. ANYWAY, all this is to say that everybody in the world has a more interesting life than mine but probably not more interesting than my cable guy's.

Okay, so I've just been spit up by the overpriced diploma-factory and I work a full time job in a retail job that has nothing to do with my degree. Typical experience, I'm sure but I think the environment I work in is actually pretty unique. Let me explain. I work at a high end department store selling women's shoes. The company itself hires employees with no retail experience and to compensate for this, offer no training. Make sense? Actually, they have a business model that makes it work. Sales people at this store are paid in 100% commission rather than in hourly pay. This means, if you suck at your job, you can't sell shoes and you make no money. It's sort of like a sink or swim method. People who can't naturally figure out the job end up quitting and those who can stick around continually try to improve their performance to pad their paychecks. With minimal effort, the company is able create very lucrative employees. It's genius, really.

Anyway, the smart business plan pretty much ends there and from that point on, everything is really governed by the Peter Principle. This is not a good thing. In a nutshell, the Peter Principle states promotions based on performance lead to crappy upper management. This retailer is unique in that they only promote from within so at any given store, any of the top positions are filled by people who once worked on the sales floor. It's kind of inspiring but also really, really problematic. You see, when promotions are given, they don't look at their salespeople who seem to possess organizational skills, an ability to problem solve, or even leadership qualities. They look at their top sales people who, in most cases, are very charismatic individuals who don't necessarily have good management potential. This is why I am currently managed by a man who doesn't fully understand how to use the computer program Excel.

Do I think I'm too good for this job? Maybe. Does this make me a snob? Absolutely. Still, I know I'm not the only directionless postgrad working a shitty job in this world. There are more of you out there. Come on, people. Commiserate with me.